Scenes from the CODE GEASS novels: a flashback to a certain night

[rainfall]

What It Is: an excerpt from Mamoru Iwasa's first CODE GEASS: Lelouch of the Rebellion novel, Stage 0. A tiny little flashback Lelouch has to a certain night.
Where Is It: In the midst of Stage-0:1-Previous Night.
Part Of: Scenes from the CODE GEASS Novels

*

—There had been rain.

"Lelouch. I..."

A dark, terrible rain that had begun to blot out the night sky.

"I... no."

One hand had clutched at his chest. A trembling hand. A hand numb from the cold.

A frozen hand...

"I...¹"

He spat the word out like he was coughing up blood. Like he was ripping out his own heart.

Or seeking comfort he would never be afforded.

"I — I'm not... gonna use my strength for my own sake again, not ever..."

There had been rain.

A dark, terrible rain that had begun to blot out the night sky.

And him...

...it had begun to blot him out, too.

"I can't, Lelouch..."


—It had been that night, probably, that a part of him had died.

*



^{1 Suzaku switches from 俺 to 僕 here. The beginning of his major pronoun shift in the first series.↩}